Popular comedian and talk show host Teju Oyelakin, aka, Teju Babyface, has sparked widespread debate with his controversial advice to men regarding marital infidelity.
In a YouTube video posted on Monday, Teju urged men not to confess to their wives if they cheat, arguing that such admissions often inflict lasting damage on relationships rather than repairing them.
Teju described confessing infidelity as one of the “most catastrophic and damaging” actions in marriage, warning that it could permanently undermine trust and destabilize the union.
“If you cheat on your wife, don’t tell her. Don’t confess. Do not ever do it,” he emphasized. “It is one of the most catastrophic and damaging things you can ever do in your life.”
He went on to challenge the common belief that confession is a sign of honesty, noting that while some may cite religious teachings to justify it, confession of sin is intended for God, not humans.
“People will even quote the Bible to support the idea of confession. They will say that if we confess and repent, then our sins are forgiven. Excuse me, that is to God and from God, not to man,” Teju stated.
The comedian argued that people who confess infidelity are often driven by guilt rather than genuine honesty, accusing them of seeking emotional relief at the expense of their spouse.
“You’re not being honest; you’re being manipulative. What you’re really doing is shedding the weight of your guilt, not helping your spouse,” he explained.
While sharing his own experience, Teju admitted that he once confessed to cheating in a serious relationship before marriage, a decision he now regrets.
He revealed that his confession stemmed from a subconscious desire to sabotage the relationship rather than true repentance.
“I can see clearly now that I confessed because I wanted out of the relationship,” he said. “If I cheated and then confessed, and she left by herself, I could justify it to myself. That was not honesty; that was cowardice.”
Teju argued that confessions rarely heal relationships but instead deepen emotional wounds and permanently alter trust.
“There is no benefit to your spouse when you confess. All the benefits are yours. What you give them is pain, heartache, and misery,” he asserted, adding that some marriages never recover from the damage caused by such revelations.
He shared the story of a friend who confessed to cheating early in his marriage and has spent 15 years dealing with the fallout.
Teju proposed that true repentance lies in changing one’s behavior rather than confessing. He urged men to stop cheating and seek forgiveness from God or a counselor instead of burdening their wives.
“If you feel bad about cheating, stop cheating. If you still feel guilty, confess to God or a counselor—not your wife. That’s not honesty; that’s cruelty,” he said.
He also differentiated between occasional infidelity and habitual cheating, stressing that a single mistake does not define someone as a cheater. “The fact that you cheated once doesn’t make you a cheater,” he noted.
“A cheater is someone who does it repeatedly. But if you stumbled once, learn from it and change your actions—don’t destroy your home in the name of confession.”
Teju’s remarks have ignited heated discussions online, with some agreeing with his perspective while others criticize his advice for downplaying accountability and transparency in relationships.
The post Never confess to your wife if you cheat — Babyface tells men first appeared on Diaspora Digital Media DDM.
