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How to maintain your individual dreams in marriage, by Jacob Iroko |

During COVID, I decided to start a hobby. Beyond exercising my mind, I wanted to go further so I started exercising consistently and even asked my wife to join me. But knowing her, she wasn’t interested in adding more stress to her routine… A few weeks in, she noticed I had become less consistent and asked what was happening. She encouraged me to keep going and even teased me a bit, saying that the exercises were starting to show on my body. Wink wink. The way my head was swelling, ehhhh, it even gave me the push I needed to keep going. This experience taught me a lesson and it is that maintaining our individual hobbies, even when our partner isn’t involved, is crucial for personal satisfaction and growth.

Maintaining individuality and growth in a relationship is crucial for a healthy and fulfilling partnership. It is a beautiful concept: “Joint vision, individual dreams.”

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This represents a harmonious balance between shared goals and personal aspirations in your relationship. It gives room for: 

1. Joint vision: Where you and your partner share common goals, values, and a collective vision for your relationship, family, or life together.

2. Individual dreams: You both have your unique aspirations, passions, and dreams that make you who you are as individuals.

This balance allows for:

•             Unity and teamwork in pursuing shared goals

•             Support and encouragement for each other’s personal aspirations

•             Personal growth and development

•             A sense of autonomy and individuality within the relationship

•             A stronger and more fulfilling connection

Here are some tips to help you achieve the above:

•             Keep your interests: Pursue your hobbies, passions, and goals.

•             Personal time: Make time for yourself, alone or with friends and family.

•             Own your identity: Maintain your values, beliefs, and personality.

•             Communicate boundaries: Share your needs and limits with your partner.

•             Support each other’s growth: Encourage personal development and progress.

•             Respect differences: Embrace the unique qualities and perspectives you both bring.

•             Personal space: Respect each other’s need for alone time and privacy.

•             Maintain friendships: Nurture relationships outside of your partnership.

•             Embrace independence: Value the benefits of independence within your relationship.

A joint vision provides a foundation, while individual dreams add color and depth to your relationship. Nurture both, and your bond will flourish! 

Maintaining individuality in a relationship requires effort and communication from both partners. By doing so, you’ll create a more fulfilling and balanced connection.

Until next Sunday.

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